An Inclusive Litany

1/9/96

After Joyce Lehr fell in an icy, unplowed high school parking lot in Lamar, Missouri, she sued the county, alleging damage to virtually every part of her body. According to her petition: "All the bones, organs, muscles, tendons, tissues, nerves, veins, arteries, ligaments ... discs, cartilages, and the joints of her body were fractured, broken, ruptured, punctured, compressed, dislocated, separated, bruised, contused, narrowed, abrased, lacerated, burned, cut, torn, wrenched, swollen, strained, sprained, inflamed, and infected."

[Ed.: As 1996 presidential candidate Lamar Alexander learned to his grief, the word "lamar" is Spanish slang for "to lick."]