An Inclusive Litany

5/2/94

In the last decade, Ronald Williams claims that Revlon's Flex hair conditioner burned his head, glass in a container of Dannon yogurt cut his mouth and paralyzed his lip, a Magnavox television set caught fire and burned his clothes, a can of Rise shaving cream exploded in his face, and a Nuprin pain reliever damaged his liver and left him in a coma.

Luckily for those companies, U.S. District Judge John S. Martin Jr. wasn't having any of it. According to the New York Times, the judge considered Williams's credentials—the plaintiff is serving two life terms plus 200 years for killing a West Virginia police officer in 1975 and a West Virginia state trooper in 1979—and the fact that Williams failed to present any evidence of his claims. Martin then dismissed the complaints.

Upon hearing Martin's decision, Williams vowed to file two new lawsuits, for unspecified reasons, against Reebok and Chase Mart.