An Inclusive Litany

1/5/94

A sample of various federal pork barrel items, compiled by Martin Gross:

  • A $60,000 Belgian Endive research study for the University of Massachusetts.
  • $6.4 million for a Bavarian ski resort in Kellogg, Idaho.
  • $13 million to repair a privately owned dam in South Carolina.
  • $3.1 million to convert a ferry boat into a crab restaurant in Baltimore.
  • $43 million for Steamtrain, U.S.A., in Scranton, Pennsylvania, to recreate a railroad yard of old.
  • $107,000 to study the sex life of the Japanese quail.
  • $4.3 million for a privately owned museum in Johnstown, Pennsylvania.
  • $11 million for a private pleasure boat harbor in Cleveland.
  • $150,000 to study the Hatfield-McCoy feud.
  • $6 million to repair tracks owned by the Soo railroad line.
  • $320,000 to purchase President McKinley's mother-in-law's house.
  • Funds to rehabilitate the South Carolina mansion of Charles Pickney, a Framer of the Constitution. Unfortunately, the house was built after he died.
  • $2.7 million for a catfish farm in Arkansas.
  • $84,000 to find out why people fall in love.
  • $1 million to study why people don't ride bikes to work.
  • $3 million for private parking garages in Chicago.
  • $1.8 million for topographic maps of two parishes in Louisiana.
  • $144,000 to see if pigeons follow human economic laws. [!]
  • Funds to study the cause of rudeness on tennis courts and examine smiling patterns in bowling alleys.
  • $219,000 to teach college students to watch television.
  • $500,000 to build a replica of the Great Pyramid of Egypt in Indiana.
  • $850,000 for a bicycle path in Macomb County, Michigan.
  • $10 million for an access ramp to a privately owned stadium in Milwaukee.
  • $1.8 million for an engineering study to convert Biscayne Boulevard in Miami into an "exotic garden."
  • $13 million for an industrial theme park in Pennsylvania.
  • $500,000 for a museum to honor former Secretary of State Cordell Hull.
  • $2 million to construct an ancient Hawaiian canoe.
  • $350,000 to renovate the House Beauty Salon.
  • $6 million to upgrade the two-block-long Senate subway.
  • $20 million for a demonstration project to build wooden bridges.
  • $160,000 to study if you can hex an opponent if you draw an "X" on his chest.
  • $250,000 to study TV lighting in the Senate meeting rooms.
  • $800,000 for a restroom on Mt. McKinley.
  • $100,000 to study how to avoid falling spacecraft.
  • $100,000 to research soy-based inks.
  • $1 million for a Seafood Consumer Center.
  • $130,000 for a Congressional video-conferencing project.
  • $16,000 to study the operation of the komungo, a Korean stringed instrument.
  • $1 million to preserve a Trenton, New Jersey, sewer as a historical monument.
  • $6,000 for a document on Worchestershire sauce.
  • $10,000 to study the effect of naval communications on a bull's potency.
  • $33 million to pump sand onto the private beaches of Miami hotels.
  • $57,000 spent by the Executive Branch for gold-embossed playing cards on Air Force Two.